the last time i felt safe

by Mexico North

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02:07
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released November 14, 2014

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Mexico North Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

ethan brennan.

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Track Name: every night
I wish I could be more like the person I said, instead I've got all these lies and I'm filling your head. I'm a joke, I'm an asshole. So I smoke so I will choke on something other than my words. But you will pay for all the evil you've done to me, wrapped inside of your own naivety. Every night I dream about you, but not the person I'm lying next to. It's so fucked up; I'm so fucked up. I care too much to remember that I cared enough to call you up when you feel down, let you know that I'm still around. I've been high for four days straight, I can't even appreciate you. Call it a bad case of misinformed youth, cause you're down on you're luck and beggars can't choose. Lean all the way out your window and shout that I will pay.
Track Name: broken
I want to talk to you till three am again. And I miss the part when you, you were my only friend. But I grew up and you never changed. At least you thought I did, I'll always stay the same. Your bodies failing. My bodies failing. Your mind is strong. My mind is failing. Half the part of waking up in someone else's bed was to prove to you and everyone the one you knew is dead. But you were broken right from the start, and I couldn't tear you apart from my head. Did you ever think it would still be you and me four years out? Cause all you ever wanted was something to be proud of; someone to be proud of you. I'm proud of you for not putting a bullet in your god damn head. But you were broken right from the start, and I couldn't tear you apart from my head.
Track Name: fuck it out
How much must I fetishize you before I start to demonize you? Cause I've been spending nights awake, trying to make this feel the same. And all my friends always tell me not to try. But all my friends don't know the reason why I always try to make sure that you're by my side. I always try, I always try. I always try to make sure that you feel alright. I always try. Try to stay with me tonight and even if we start to fight we'll fuck it out we'll feel alright, we always did 'till you met him. How much must I demonize you until I don't even recognize you? Don't tell me that you feel the same, and even though we're both to blame I tell my friends I don't know why I try. But all my friends don't know the reason why. Try to stay with me tonight and even if we start to fight we'll fuck it out we'll feel alright, we always did 'till you met him.
Track Name: mirrors
It's so hard to care when you're unaware. I know it's hard to see me now. But I need you in my veins though I am driving you insane. I never thought I'd need you more than this, but you are my new fix. I've been coming down from highs with you and getting comfortable in lows. And I've been getting way too high and feeling comfortable with no one else but my own self. I swear my eyes will burn holes in these mirrors. I should have known that I was lying. I should have known that I was lying. I've been coming down from highs with you and getting comfortable with feeling low. And I've been getting way too high and feeling comfortable with no one else but my own self. I swear my eyes will burn holes in these mirrors. I'm getting comfortable with no one else, I swear my eyes will burn holes in these mirrors.
Track Name: stoned in the back of your car
I'll try not to be overly wordy, but that should come easy cause this brain don't work half the time. Except to analyze every line in this face. Isn't that great? But I was born with these genes, and I know what it means to accept that I'm fine when I'm not. I spent all these years trying not to feel much of anything. I threw it all up when you fed all those lies to me. Cause I am not worth the thought that I am given. I have felt worse but, man am I sick of it. This could be the worst thing I've ever done. But the last time I felt safe was stoned in the back of your car where we lay, not saying anything. Holding our tongues. Man, we're we dumb to let anyone know we were feeling this numb.
Track Name: something i can't
I told you from the start that getting close to me was not the smartest thing. In fact, I'll tear you apart. And now you're tearing off your clothes to expose all your bones. I didn't mean to string you along. But if that's how it came across can you please let me know? Cause I've been having trouble feeling anything that isn't weed or alcohol to numb me. Tell me what's wrong with me. I'm not happy until I get what I want. I'm not happy till you're crying over me. I'm not happy until you're feeling something I can't.